I don't even know how many people I know, know that I have an account on LJ.

I tend to forget myself. 

I sign up for lots of things, all the time. All sorts of different forums and fansites, most often connected to the Sims. Much as I like the game, I always hate that for some reason I feel as though I should be ashamed of playing it. It's a strange world we live in, and most of it doesn't agree with me.

I read. And knit. Those aren't disliked, but they do tend to lend themselves to stereotypes. Even worse, I read fan fiction, and *gasp* have even attempted to write it.  Pretty terrible stuff, but it's just as bad as the original stuff I try to write. So you may see what I've never been all that popular at parties. It doesn't help that beyond being weird, I'm not charming or witty, or frankly, attractive. I'm also shy, but then tend to talk too much. I suspect I'm clingy, and I'm afraid I tend to drive away friends that are becoming long term.

This is a whiny little rant because I'd forgotten I'd signed up for this. I tried to keep up a blog on wordpress, and began to get depressed because I only was writing stuff like this...worthless, and naturally no one wanted to read it. It was what my professor called the "junk" of the internet. Then he assigned us weekly blog posts and said they couldn't be junk. My friend saw the first blog I wrote there, and said it was the best I'd ever written (so far).

A compliment, but it still kind of made me sad because I don't exactly like that I'm so well known as writing junk. Maybe I can improve the rest of my online reputation to this, as it's called a journal, at least. 

I need to whine to somebody.
 


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parrinoyed

October 2012

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